This week’s episode is a real “pile of dames” and while that expression is admittedly stupid, this episode birthed the expression "verbal fedora," so we think it earns a pass.
Verbal Fedora (Noun): An expression so cringe-worthy you immediately know, upon hearing it, that the speaker is a man with a very cheap fedora who yearns to be able to pull off calling a woman "toots"
Amitai and Katie-Ellen discuss desired superpowers, including the famous debate: Flight or Invisibility. (Respect to the invisibility crowd, but y'all are freaks). Katie compares aging as a woman to the photo Michael J. Fox carries in Back to the Future where he and his siblings start to disappear as he mucks about making his Mom horny for his bod.
Amitai shares his resentment for professional athletes who are talented actors. The nerve! And Katie admits she's given up trying to keep up with modern apples.
Things get juicy when Katie brings in an audience requested question: Which Muppets Would Amitai Sleep With? This was originally prompted by a Reductress artcle titled "How to Break it to Him That All 5 of Your Freebies are Muppets."
The question ultimately ends up becoming more a homework project for Ami, who is not all that familiar with the Muppets, while Katie shares a LOT (too much maybe) about her thoughts on boning Muppets and her particular affinity for a certain pair of beautiful haters.
What Katie did NOT share on the pod, was who else was on her "Top 5 Muppets to Bone" list. What's that? Exclusive content seen ONLY here on the blog? Boi on boi, you sure are lucky to be checking out this page. Okay, without further ado...
Katie-Ellen's Top 5 Muppets (for sex stuff)
1. Kermit
Sure, Kermy's a real "side one, track one" kinda choice, but he's a babe. He's a good uncle, respected journalist, producer, singer songwriter and an amphibian. He's a total catch.
2. Miss Piggy
Style. Glamour. Drama. No doubt about it, the pig's a Queen.
3. Rizzo
Don't know what to say other than if Rizzo's NOT on your list, we're different.
4. Gonzo
This one does come with a caveat in that it is assumed he comes with his harem of sexy chickens, of course. Gonzo's great, but without Camillia does he make the list? Debatable. Those two EXUDE "my girlfriend spotted you and wondered if we could buy you a drink..." energy a certain podcast co-host is here for.
5. Stadler and Waldorf
Aforementioned hater hotties. This one was discussed on the pod and as mentioned Katie would never subject these confirmed bachelor's to the indignity of sex with a female form, but she WOULD be into them watching her get down while they provide their signature cutting commentary.
Special mention/also-ran status to Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. He didn't make the top 5 this time 'round, but for certain that dude FUCKS.
Who's in your Top 5?
You can always email contact@hornyoffmainpod.com with your Muppet thoughts or anything else you want to share. We love to hear from you.
Horny For's:
This week Amitai was horny for your favourite pair of pants (as someone with a belly, butt, hips etc Katie only has tolerable and intolerable pants). Katie-Ellen was horny for bambo sheets*. Seriously, treat yourself.
*This did lead to a heated debate over top sheet or not sheet.