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Episode #68 - We Should Grab Coffee (but not really)

Updated: Dec 22, 2021

This week's episode opens with Katie being uncharacteristically UNhorny and sharing their long-held distaste for a local coffee chain. From a scan of the Yelp reviews for that spot it appears Kate is in the minority on this and that most patrons are big fans, but at least one person had a similar and arguably worse/stranger interaction with staff there and left the following 1-start review:

I mistakenly asked for a "grande" coffee (word choices matter) and was refused service Grow some sideburns and wear a smelly plaid shirt if you plan on going. C'est un lieu de rencontre pour la résistance

Also, can we talk about the "No WiFi" Coffee Shops for a minute. Like this shit:

What type of supreme asshole wants to pretend it's 1995. Not even in mid-pandemic 2021 do I want to pretend it's 1995. I actually kinda prefer not to hear "gay" in the pejorative every 3 minutes and to not be consuming hatred of women in almost every piece of media. But yeah, WiFi's the problem to focus on.

Making Plans?

Are you making more plans lately? Breaking plans? As the world (seemingly temporarily?) opens up a little bit more, how are you managing whatever boundaries, or potentially lack thereof, that you're putting in place?

Sexuality & Disability

Katie-Ellen shares a bit about a conversation she was blessed to have with a friend, concerning sexuality and disability (which was made all the better by fellow Vancouverites pretending they could not overhear the convo).

Katie and Amitai didn't delve deep into this topic as decided non-experts, but this quote from Sonali Shan, from Centre for Disability Research, Institute of Health and Wellbeing, University of Glasgow, Glasgow, United Kingdom, seems relevant to the topic.

Disabled young people are sexual beings, and deserve equal rights and opportunities to have control over, choices about, and access to their sexuality, sexual expression, and fulfilling relationships throughout their lives. This is critical to their overall physical, emotional, and social health and well-being. However, societal misconceptions of disabled bodies being non-normative, other, or deviant has somewhat shaped how the sexuality of disabled people has been constructed as problematic under the public gaze.

Ego Strength

Ami brings up an interesting concept shared by his parents (while they all practiced their honed direct communication of which Katie is so in awe) of "Ego Strength."

in psychoanalytic theory, the ability of the ego to maintain an effective balance between the inner impulses of the id, the superego, and outer reality. An individual with a strong ego is thus one who is able to tolerate frustration and stress, postpone gratification, modify selfish desires when necessary, and resolve internal conflicts and emotional problems before they lead to neurosis.
in psychoanalytic theory, the inability of the ego to control impulses and tolerate frustration, disappointment, or stress. The individual with a weak ego is thus one who suffers from anxiety and conflicts, makes excessive use of defense mechanisms or uses immature defense mechanisms, and is likely to develop neurotic symptoms.

Damn. This blog gonna go and ATTACK it's authors like that?

Boomers Are Horny & Ready to Die

Katie-Ellen shares about the marketing targeted toward her parents these days which fall into two categories:

  1. Prepare for Death

  2. Have a sexy fling

Honestly, it's pretty inspiring. What could unite the generations more than this common footing?

Horny For

This week, Amitai is horny for people singing in their car. Bless it.

Katie is horny for the writing Niko Stratis. In general, all of it. Katie was particularly inspired this week by the first of issue of Niko's new column "Everyone is Gay" for Catapult.

Everyone Is Gay, a column by Niko Stratis on gender and sexuality in nineties music—and how pop culture failed to talk about it at the time.

I guess I understood this disowning of past queerness. As I grew up with Green Day, I rode the highs of excitement when queerness would appear in songs, and I crashed under the dizzying lows when I assumed I was the only one who heard the references. If more people weren’t talking about these things, then maybe we weren’t supposed to talk about them at all. Despite feeling queer and trans inside my head, I didn’t feel I had the words to discuss them. So I would avoid it too—as I grew older I started to tell myself it had been a phase, or a joke.

Follow Niko on Twitter!!

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